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The Quitter

I would quit

I have tried to quit

But it seems that I don’t know how

There is no window to submit your paperwork to

Or voicemail to leave a message on late at night.

You cannot march into God’s office

To announce your departure face-to-face

He will not reply, “I hate to see you go.”

No matter how hard

I try to quit

The well-worn ruts in my brain

Are etched out by more hours than I ever imagined

Spent in the company of the Divine.

The words carved into my psyche

Are taunting me and pulling at me

With that message I now want to quit:

“God is real.  He loves you like a father

like a brother

like a servant

or a friend.

He loves me like a man

Longing for his beloved

Just wait.  Just a little longer.

Resurrection comes with the dawn.”

I can no longer believe these

Chirruping reminders

But I know no better guide to follow

Than these deep grooves

Sculpted into my brain.

Although now I am lost.

My lover will have to come for me.

If he is real

And if he is good.

I will know his voice

should it come

I have heard it often before

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