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Do You Think I Should Send This?

Dear Bertha*,

I am writing to let you know that my daughter mentioned to me today that on several occasions now your daughter Suzi-Q has made derogatory comments to her regarding her half-black heritage. The poor thing even tried claiming that you had told her that you didn’t like black people too. I knew you would want to know about this right away so you can talk to Suzi-Q about not repeating every ridiculous thing she hears some ill-bred child on the playground saying. And of course, we wouldn’t want other, more credulous people to catch wind of her claim that you don’t like black people. I’m sure that she’ll never repeat such nonsense again once she understands that people will assume she is being raised by repugnant trailer-park trash who doesn’t deserve to breathe the air that the Good Lord provides us. I mean, obviously I’ve known perfectly fine people who live in trailer parks and it’s completely possible for scummy filth to reside in a lovely home like your own. But you know how people can be with their ridiculous stereo-typing and absurd assumptions based on the shallowest of pretenses. We’ll just have to hope Suzi-Q’s unfortunate statements haven’t gotten back to anyone else and harmed your family’s good standing in the community.

On the other hand, if Suzi-Q spoke truthfully, then allow me to extend my sincere condolences. I hope that the person who read this out loud to you is able to explain what all the big words mean. And don’t worry, I’ll be sure to discretely inform the other parents of your unfortunate condition so they can make the appropriate allowances for when they have to interact with you.

At any rate, it is fortunate that my daughter is a sweet, understanding child.  For now she seems inclined to forgive Suzi-Q for her terrible lapse in judgment – whatever its source might be. I’m sure we can both agree that this is a good thing as a friendship with a person of color such as my daughter could well prevent Suzi-Q from growing up actually believing whatever racist nonsense she hears . It would be such a tragedy if she were to adopt ideas that will cause every decent person she meets to think that she was disgusting filth, wouldn’t it? Hopefully between your family and mine we can prevent such an awful, sad fate for her.

Best wishes,


*This is a form letter I’m considering using. Bertha and Suzi-Q are just place holder names.

BTW, if you’d like to read more of this white girl’s take on race-relations (which are more nuanced than just calling racists names!), my $.99 ebook The Upside Down World Takes on Race in America is available for download on Amazon.

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#parenting #racism #humor #satire #life #kids

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